i feel stupid...

i feel stupid right now..
i don't know why..
maybe because i'm not ready to face everyone..
i am in a major depression..
maybe i'm in a some kind of a psychiatric disorder..
i need someone talk with..
but my thoughts are not compiled and organized...
everything is scattered right now..
i feel like dying..
i don't feel loved by anyone..
eventhough i know that someone loves me..
i am a jerk!
i am stupid!
i don't like what i feel right now..
God help me through this feeling...
i reall don't like it!

unTitLed iS what i naMe iT...

I've rEad eVery boOk,
i'vE suNg eVery song..
mY miNd mAy bE riGht,
But mY heArt feELs sO wroNg...
teLL mE hoW mucH furTher cAn my liFe gO aLong?

i do nOt knoW hoW to liVe wiThout yOu..
i wAnt yoU heRe by My siDe foRever..
anD iF God is wiLLing,
i'm rEady tO loVe yoU foRever..
eVen deatH cAn maKe uS pArt..
iT is yOu wHo i waNt!
iT iS You wHo i nEEd!
iT is yOU whO i LOVE!

my sleepless nights...

countless of sleepless nights
is what i've spent
for all those time that
i cry , weep, and beg for your love...

but as days pass..
i realize that this is dead end..
i have no way to go...
my only option is to turn back..
leave this all behind
and find a new way,
where i know that i won't suffer and get hurt..

a pleasant goodbye
and a wonderous thank you to you..
at least i've learned a lot
and suffered with worth....